The Plumber’s Done A Runner!

I don’t beliEEEVE it!


Since I last wrote on the subject, the kitchen has been coming on quite well. The plaster (sort of) dried and we got it painted before the kitchen cabinet maker arrived. There are still a few areas where the paint is bubbling but fortunately these are on sections of wall left free of cupboards. So we can go back and tackle them later, if needs be.

I was waiting for the granite worktops to be installed to reveal the finished result. And the tap. And the radiators. Time to call back the plumber. Remember, Mike’s choice of plumber. It ran something like this:

M: “When can you come over to fix up the tap and the radiators?”

MP: “Tricky..”

M: “How come?”

MP: “It’s me van. Remember them gales a couple o’ weeks back? Tree fell on it. Insurance says it’s a write off.”

M: “Oh dear, that’s dreadful.”

MP: “No van, you see. No way of getting over.”

There was a pregnant silence as Mike mulled over these words. I was listening and he knew it. “We really do need to get this work done before Christmas. I’ll come over and pick you up.”

Another pause.

MP: “It won’t work, I’ve too much stuff to bring over. Won’t fit in your car..”

M: “We have an estate car, it shouldn’t be a problem..”

MP: “It won’t work.”

Mike tried another tack. The plumber employed his son. “How about Reggie, could he help us out?”

MP: “He’s busy on another job. Next two weeks.”


So there we have it. Mike’s plumber had been so uncomfortable about those ‘modern’ radiator tails and whether they would fit. I’d also shown him the tap, the day it had arrived. It is one of those with a pull out rinse, the sort that lets you swish the end of it around in the sink. It has a lot of Italian writing on the box..

I hope it wasn’t me. We haven’t seen eye to eye on some matters exactly, but it’s always been polite. Whatever the cause, the plumber has seriously let us down.

And who, now, will step into the breach? Will it be Jessica’s young, intelligent, companionable and highly recommended, albeit twice the price, plumber? No. Mike has decided. He has done some research on Google. How hard can it be?

He will finish off the plumbing.

Oh. My. God.


The Plumber's Done A Runner

pin it?


2017-11-07T19:29:07+00:00December 12th, 2012|Tags: |


  1. john December 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm - Reply

    move to high ground

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:19 pm - Reply

      North Wales?

  2. Denise December 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm - Reply

    You will look back on this and understand it will be a period of learning – you WILL be a better person – trust me! But really – whilst he has dropped you in it – aren’t you relieved? Really! He has been a negative soul from Day 1.
    May the force be with you sister! xxxx

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:22 pm - Reply

      Relieved? Yes. I think.

  3. Em December 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm - Reply

    Oh dear…..high ground indeed and perhaps an inflatable craft of some kind? Talking of high ground, you can most definitely take the moral kind. Lots of ‘I told you so’ smug looks to come I feel. I’m truly sorry for your situation though and just before Christmas! It’s making our dry rot outbreak in the summer look like a walk in the park.

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:28 pm - Reply

      It could be worse.. still a few days to go. Dry rot is not nice though, I hope it’s sorted out.

  4. Sue December 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm - Reply

    This is not making me any keener to have a new bathroom.

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm - Reply

      You’ll be OK. There could surely only be one Mike’s plumber. And he appears to be grounded!

  5. Anny December 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm - Reply

    Before you panic, our experience with plumbers has not been stellar, but my other half fixed the leak under the sink and fitted a posh tap – all (short pause while I cross everything) still working perfectly some months later – no one could have been more surprised than me.

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:34 pm - Reply

      Comforting words, Anny. Thank you.

  6. Cumbrian December 12, 2012 at 4:49 pm - Reply

    Polite excuses.

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:38 pm - Reply

      Quite. Van hire exists, even this far out in the sticks. If you want to keep your business going.

  7. Ali December 12, 2012 at 5:22 pm - Reply

    You told him!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:40 pm - Reply

      I fear I did!

  8. young at heart December 12, 2012 at 6:46 pm - Reply

    mmmmm…..step away from the stopcock!!!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 6:53 pm - Reply

      Only long enough to get another drink..

  9. CherryPie December 12, 2012 at 7:26 pm - Reply

    I hope the plumber hadn’t been paid up front!!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:04 pm - Reply

      He hasn’t been paid anything Cherie!

  10. Vera December 12, 2012 at 7:35 pm - Reply

    Strooth! The Man is going to do the plumbing! Oh crikey! Oh crikey, crikey! May I ask if you partake of Baileys. Methinks you will be needing a sip or two if your man is going to take over the plumbing. I find it a help if my man says he will take over anything which needs doing in regards to stuff like that. But then one has to give one’s man a chance, so perhaps your man will do a stirling job. Still, a quick swig of Baileys might swing things along for you!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:12 pm - Reply

      Vera, taking your lead, I have acquired a bottle courtesy of a clear out of my mother’s house. Everything will be fine. Hic.

  11. Vera December 12, 2012 at 7:37 pm - Reply

    …… and anyway, if that other plumber man got cold feet, then perhaps it is just as well. After all, if he didn’t think that he could do a proper job then he probably wouldn’t have. Better that he sails off into the sunset. Better for you that someone else does the job!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:15 pm - Reply

      What’s worrying me just a little.. when the Baileys fog clears a bit.. if a plumber didn’t think he was up to it.. how come Mike does?

      • knitsofacto December 13, 2012 at 11:53 pm - Reply

        That did cross my mind, but Mike is clearly made of sterner stuff than the plumber. A real man is never afraid of a radiator tail. And a real woman buys waders, just in case.

        • Jessica December 14, 2012 at 9:38 am - Reply

          If I get them I’ll probably never need them… good thinking Annie.

  12. Vera December 12, 2012 at 7:38 pm - Reply

    …yes, it’s me again! Do hope this gets sorted out soon for you. Be nice to see someone get a new kitchen, will be yonks before I do!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:23 pm - Reply

      Thanks Vera. Your kitchen, as you’ve described it, will be worth the wait. Jx

  13. BadPenny December 12, 2012 at 8:43 pm - Reply

    Cripes !!!! I don’t know what to say… again ! Mike you can do it / yes you can ???

    OH HELL !

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:27 pm - Reply

      OH HELL!

  14. haggiz December 12, 2012 at 9:44 pm - Reply

    Sorry to hear it’s gone from bad to worse… I’m sure your husband will do you proud x

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:28 pm - Reply

      No pressure…

  15. Rosie December 12, 2012 at 9:49 pm - Reply

    He really doesn’t want to come back does he? Probably ‘winding down for Christmas’ a bit early! When the builder working next door to us had something happen to the fuel pump on his van he hired one to come back and complete the work. Hope all goes well!:)

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 10:30 pm - Reply

      It’s not beyond the wit of man is it.. hiring a van.. thanks Rosie.

  16. Simone December 12, 2012 at 11:07 pm - Reply

    I wonder if Mike’s plumber ever read these posts?!!! I think he has done you a favour by pulling out of the project. I am sure Mike will do a fantastic job at finishing off the plumbing. Instead of posts abouts Mike’s plumber you can now write posts about Mike THE plumber!!!

    • Jessica December 12, 2012 at 11:58 pm - Reply

      I will buy him a new set of pipe spanners for Christmas.

  17. wherethejourneytakesme December 12, 2012 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    OH the old ‘my vans not working’ …’my van broke down yesterday’ …’my van has just failed it’s MOT’ trick – we had that one last year – might have been the roofer though …can’t remember I have heard it so often!
    Poor you I sympathise – maybe in retaliation his oven elements will go on Xmas morning and he has to put up with an uncooked Turkey for Xmas dinner! What comes around goes around…

    • Jessica December 13, 2012 at 12:11 am - Reply

      Just desserts?

  18. Josephine December 13, 2012 at 1:45 am - Reply

    Ooh, swine !
    Mike’s plumber….not Mike.
    How ambitious of Mike to have a go …..

    • Jessica December 13, 2012 at 9:26 am - Reply

      I am just breathing deeply and trying to keep out of the way..

  19. elaine December 13, 2012 at 7:34 am - Reply

    My husbands maxim is never mess about with the plumbing – shall I ask him to come round and have a word.

    • Jessica December 13, 2012 at 9:28 am - Reply

      Your husband is very wise, Elaine.

  20. Jill Chandler. December 13, 2012 at 8:57 am - Reply

    Returning the favour of visiting your blog. I find strong similarities with our approach to life! Looking on the humorous side, if a blog makes me laugh, in sympathy of course, it goes on my list. I think/hope you will be amazed with Mikes attempt at plumbing. My Mike aka the Dawn Patroller has surprised both of us with having to get stuck in after being let down by various ‘tradesmen’ currently still waiting for our plumber to return to finish servicing the heating boiler he started in August. We are now perusing the manual which I think is a bad translation from Japanese.

    • Jessica December 13, 2012 at 9:24 am - Reply

      Thanks Jill, and welcome to rusty duck!
      Oh crikey, the central heating boiler… you need it living so far north! The one we inherited pre dates history and is a story I still need to tell. I listen to every new noise it makes with increasing trepidation.

  21. Sue December 13, 2012 at 9:07 am - Reply

    Well all I can say really is……..GOOD LUCK!!

    Oh….and buy lots of wine for the evenings after the plumbing!

    • Jessica December 13, 2012 at 9:30 am - Reply

      Thanks Sue. I think it can safely be said, there will be a lot of wine.

  22. the veg artist December 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm - Reply

    In my family, where most of the men are ‘handy’, plumbing seems to be something that they either love (and can do) or hate (because they find they cannot do). Compare it to knitting – some people get it straight away, others are bound for a life of frustration.
    Only time will tell!

    • Jessica December 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm - Reply

      Hi, thank you for visiting and welcome to rusty duck!
      It’s a real boon having a ‘handy’ man in the family. Mike will turn his hand to anything once.. and just as well because there’s no shortage of jobs to do around here. Hopefully plumbing will be added to the list of the jobs he likes. Time will tell!

  23. Natalie December 16, 2012 at 3:58 am - Reply

    I am not a religious woman, but I think I will pray for you anyway… 🙂

    • Jessica December 16, 2012 at 10:09 am - Reply

      Our kitchen may soon become a good place for ducks…

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